Disclaimer: This article aims to provide educational information surrounding family law. It is not intended to serve as legal advice. Consult with a lawyer and exercise your discretion before taking action based on the information provided in the blog.

Times have changed, and so has the approach to divorce. Today, many families choose to resolve their disputes outside the courtroom, taking a more collaborative and respectful approach to separation. The traditional adversarial model of divorce, where both sides fight to “win,” often leads to heightened conflict and prolonged stress. Mediation offers a fresh perspective that focuses on cooperation, understanding, and finding solutions that work for everyone involved. 

This article will discuss many of your frequently asked questions about mediation. In addition, we will outline what you can expect during mediation and how to determine if it’s right for your family. 

We will cover: 

• What is mediation in family law?
• When is mediation appropriate? When should it be avoided? 
• What are the benefits of mediation?
• What is the process for family mediation? 
• Common myths about resolving disputes using mediation  
• Additional tips for successful mediation
• How does mediation differ from litigation and alternative dispute resolution processes, such as arbitration and collaborative family law? 
• Choosing the Right Mediator in Ontario

What is mediation in family law?

Mediation in family law is typically a voluntary process, although a judge may order you to attend mediation. An impartial third-party mediator helps couples resolve disputes outside the court process. 

What is the role of the mediator? The mediator facilitates conversations between the parties and encourages mutually acceptable solutions.

Unlike litigation, where a judge imposes a decision, the mediator does not make decisions for you but helps you arrive at your own agreements.

When is mediation appropriate? When should it be avoided? 

Mediation can be highly effective in resolving many family law disputes. However, it’s not always the right fit for every case. How do you know if it’s right for your family?

The family mediation process can help you agree on: 

• Child Custody and Parenting Plans: Mediation helps parents create a co-parenting plan that works for everyone, including children. (Learn more about what to include in your parenting plan). 
• Property and Asset Division: Couples can negotiate how their property, pension plans and other valuable assets are divided.  
• Spousal and Child Support: Mediation can help determine fair support arrangements.

When the mediation process would not be appropriate

Mediation is not suitable for every situation. For example, it may not be appropriate in cases where there is domestic violence or abuse is present. These power imbalances make it impossible to have a fair negotiation.

Your mediation sessions may also not be productive if one party is not open to any negotiation or compromise.

In such cases, consulting with a family law lawyer before proceeding with any process is important.  

What are the benefits of mediation?

There are many benefits to mediation. 

Mediation is faster and more cost-effective than family court proceedings

Mediation is generally less expensive than going to court. Court cases can involve long timelines and substantial legal fees.

Mediation, while not free, is far more affordable and can save significant money by resolving issues more efficiently. With fewer delays and the option to resolve matters at your own pace, mediation can be  faster than waiting for a court date.

It is confidential

Unlike court proceedings, which are public record, mediation is confidential and a safe space to discuss sensitive matters freely. 

More control over the outcome

Mediation gives both parties control over the outcome. You know your family better than anyone else. You and your spouse are more than qualified to determine which solutions will work for your family’s day-to-day lives. Unlike litigation, where a judge makes the final decision, mediation allows you and your partner to find a solution that works for everyone. 

Mediation is also more flexible in terms of scheduling and location.

Mediation is less stressful 

Mediation is focused on the coming to an agreement, making it more collaborative. By focusing on communication, you can preserve your relationship with your ex-spouse. This is especially important if you have children and will be co-parenting moving forward.  

What is the process for family mediation? 

Let’s outline what happens in a typical family law mediation. 

Find a mediator

It’s important to find a mediator who is experienced in family law and has a reputation for neutrality. Ideally, the mediator should have experience with the type of issue you’re dealing with, such as custody or property division. We will discuss further below how to find the right mediator for your family. 

Screening

Prior to the start of any mediation, each of the parties needs to be “screened”.  These are one on one confidential meetings between the party and the mediator during which a history is obtained by the mediator, focusing on any issues which may serve to make the mediation process difficult or even impossible, such as addiction issues, mental health issues, domestic violence, abuse, etc.  It is important for the mediator to get this information so as to see if mediation can proceed, with accommodations, or to recommend a different process.  This is also an opportunity for the mediator to explain the process and get an idea as to the goals and desired outcomes of each party. 

Gather any mandatory information and prepare for your mediation sessions 

Before the mediation begins, you should gather all necessary documents. For financial disputes, this might include tax returns, bank statements, and property valuations. If the mediation involves child custody or parenting plans, prepare a list of current schedules and any relevant concerns about your child’s well-being.

Initial Meeting and Goal Setting

During your first mediation session, your mediator will introduce himself and set the agenda for the sessions ahead. The mediator will explain the rules, which typically emphasize confidentiality, respectful communication, and neutrality. You will have the chance to express your concerns, but the focus will be on setting a framework for resolving the dispute.

Negotiate and resolve any outstanding issues

The mediator will facilitate discussions, helping both parties explore solutions for each issue. During these conversations, it is important to be open-minded and flexible. While you might not get everything you want, mediation offers a chance to create a customized solution that works for you and your family.

Reporting and Drafting the Mediated Agreement 

The mediation process may take on sessions, or a number of sessions.  After each session, the mediator will circulate minutes setting out what was discussed, terms or items that were agreeable to acceptable to each party, and, if necessary, set out an agenda and homework tasks to be completed before the next session.  If the mediation is successful and a resolution is reached, the mediator may draft an agreement that outlines the terms of the settlement, or a lawyer for one of the parties may do so, using the minutes as a guide.  This document will detail the agreed-upon solutions to issues like custody, child support, or property division. Both parties are encouraged to review this agreement with their legal team and ensure it accurately reflects their understanding.

Formalizing the Agreement

Once both parties agree to the terms, and agree on wording as part of a Separation Agreement, the parties will each sign in the presence of their lawyer.  Independent legal advice for both parties is recommended, but, if a party chooses to proceed without obtaining same, they may.  The mediator will not, however, act as a witness for the signing of any Separation Agreement.  Once signed by both parties and witnessed, the agreement becomes legally binding and enforceable.

Common myths about resolving disputes using mediation  

I don’t need a lawyer if I’m using a mediator.

Since your mediator does not represent you individually, it is encouraged that you obtain independent legal advice to understand your rights and obligations.

What I say in mediation can be used against me in court.

Mediation is confidential. What you say during mediation cannot be used against you later, ensuring a safe environment for open communication.

If I go to mediation, I won’t have to go to family court

Ideally, you will resolve all of your issues during your mediation. However, some issues can only be resolved by going to trial. This does not mean that the mediation failed. We have seen with our clients that it dramatically reduces the number of issues that need to be decided by a judge.

Once a separation agreement is signed, I don’t need mediation anymore.

Mediation can be valuable even after an agreement is finalized, especially if life circumstances change and you need to revisit the terms. This is particularly true if you have children. As they grow, their needs, interests and priorities will change and you may need additional mediation to navigate this next chapter. 

Mediators Always Make the Final Decision

Mediators are not judges – they do not make decisions for you. They help guide the discussion, but the final decisions are made by the parties involved.

Additional tips for successful mediation 

Based on our experience, here are some additional tips to make the most of your mediation. 

Open and honest communication is vital. 

Good communication is the foundation for a successful mediation. And remember – communication goes both ways. While you will have a chance to express your concerns, you must also listen actively to the other party’s point of view. 

 Focus on the big picture. 

It’s easy to get lost in the minute details, but remember your ultimate goal: to reach an agreement that works for your family. Avoid getting bogged down with the little things or distracted by past conflicts. 

Be willing to compromise. 

Mediation is about finding common ground and finding creative solutions that work better for everyone in the long run. You may need to compromise or move away from what you originally envisioned. 

How does mediation differ from litigation and alternative dispute resolution processes, such as arbitration and collaborative family law?

Mediation differs significantly from litigation and other alternative dispute resolution options:

• Litigation is a formal process where a judge makes a binding decision on your case.
• Arbitration involves a neutral third party making a decision, but unlike mediation, that decision is legally binding. It also is a similar process to litigation, in that the final decision is made after the arbitrator receives evidence much in the way of a trial, after which that decision is made.
• In Collaborative Law, each party hires a lawyer to help negotiate a settlement. If the case cannot be resolved, the parties must start over with new lawyers.  Unlike mediation, there is no independent party to facilitate the discussion.
• Mediation, on the other hand, leaves the decision-making in the hands of the parties involved. The mediator facilitates dialogue and helps explore solutions, but does not dictate the outcome.

Choosing the Right Mediator in Ontario

When selecting a family law mediator, consider both their mediation skills and their experience in family law. Family disputes can be complex, so it’s important to find someone with specialized knowledge and the ability to handle sensitive matters professionally. 

Before committing to a mediator, it’s essential to ask the right questions to determine if they have the right qualifications and approach to meet your needs.

It is essential to confirm that the mediator has specific experience in family law. For example, Sean Plat has over 25 years of practice in family law, handling everything from child custody issues to complex property division cases. His deep understanding of family law helps him offer solutions that are not only fair but also legally sound.

Every mediator has their own style. Sean’s practical yet empathetic approach ensures that both parties feel heard while he works towards a constructive resolution. He tailors his mediation style to suit the needs of each family, whether it’s a high-conflict parenting case or a more straightforward financial dispute.

By asking questions and ensuring that the mediator has experience in family law, you can make an informed decision that sets the stage for a successful mediation. Whether you’re dealing with a complex property division, a high-conflict parenting issue, or a child custody dispute, working with a mediator like Sean Plat, who brings both legal expertise and a practical, empathetic approach, can help you find a fair and sustainable resolution.

Plat Simionati LLP: Providing Collaborative Law and Family Mediation Services Providers for Your Family 

At Plat Simionati LLP, we recognize the challenges and emotional sensitivities that come with navigating family law matters in Ontario. Our team of skilled family law professionals is committed to providing both traditional family law and mediation services that are supportive and customized to meet your needs.

Sean Plat, one of our founding partners, is a seasoned family mediator with extensive experience in family law. He is ready to assist you as a mediator, whether you are dealing with child custody, spousal support, property division, or any other family law issue. Sean’s approach ensures you receive the guidance and care necessary to navigate the process professionally and respectfully.

For more information about family law mediation, please reach out to us. A member of our team will be happy to connect with you and discuss how we can support your journey toward resolution.